Schizophrenia: 3 Moms in the Trenches Podcast

In recent posts, I reviewed two new memoirs from fellow MRQs (Moms who Refuse to Quit) Miriam "Mimi" Feldman and Mindy Greiling. Both memoirs were recently released (unfortunately forced by the pandemic into virtual-only book tours), and are both stellar and unique.

audio podcast or YouTube video

So - we met each other (virtually, of course - what else could we do?) and have teamed up to create a new podcast/youtube show for Moms like us - and also for other caregivers, practitioners, family members, and those (like our sons) who are diagnosed with schizophrenia - if they are in a place to want to hear about our side of the story.

Ben would not care to watch this, I know, as he still lacks insight into his illness (anosognosia) - but our hope is that the content is there for whomever is ready to hear it.

Here is the description:

Three Moms in the Trenches: (East, West, and Mid-US). We each have adult sons with schizophrenia and have written acclaimed books about it. We say it like it is, to help families, practitioners and those with SMI (serious mental illness) feel less alone...and learn. Randye Kaye -Broadcaster, Actress, Voice Talent, Speaker, and Author (“Ben Behind his Voices”) Miriam Feldman - Artist, Mom, Author "He Came in With It" Mindy Greiling - member of the Minnesota House of Representatives for twenty years. Activist, Legislator, Author (“Fix What You Can")

Podcast can be found here:

YouTube  (please subscribe to be informed as each weekly episode comes out!

Thanks!

Noah's Schizophrenia: Review

Like many memoirs about a mother's experience with her son's schizophrenia, this rang true on so many levels. The love, the shock, the despair, the hope, the searching for support...all of us with loved ones struck by the brain illness called schizophrenia will nod our heads in solidarity - the club we never wanted to be in.

What sets this apart is how the author weaves information and resources into the story: read it to understand acronyms and issues such as AOT, CIT, NAMI, Board and Cares, homelessness, drug use, conservatorships, IMD, Clozapine....a primer for the vast education a family needs to cope and help.

For me, this may not have been the easiest read on this day when my own son's Court Hearing to apply for right to commit and right to medicate is happening in a few hours. I face the difficult decision, as does the author Kartar Diamond so many times in this story, of refusing to let me son move back in with us. Her son Noah cycled through so many forms of alternative housing...what will happen to mine?

In one terrifying and frustrating scene, she shares her thoughts as Noah's symptoms worsen: 

As a small boy, he made a Mother’s Day card that read, “Don’t ever die I love you so much.” Now, 25 years old, suffering from schizophrenia and fueled with crystal meth, he wants to “crush my skull” because I didn’t bring him ten dollars.

Minus the threats, we have been there. As for the threats? Well, you just never know. With treatment, Ben's sweet nature abounds. When he refuses meds? I don't know how long before the voices take over.

The author's son Noah is a talented musician (mine a promising writer, a grim reminder of what this illness steals from the world as well as from the person diagnosed with it and his/her family). This is not sugar-coated at all; it reveals the disparities in the mental health system through the frustrated eyes (and pocketbook) of one mother who loves her son with all her heart, but is left almost helpless by the illness and the system that is supposed to help. It also ends with some hope, and a look at what can happen when the system does work.

I can relate. You, I hope, will too. She searches for "the truth" throughout this book, and all of us hope and pray it can be found.

Mental Health Awareness Month, Mothers' Day, and Memoir Readers

May is days away - bringing both Mothers' Day and  Mental Health Awareness Month. This has me thinking about wonderful readers who have taken the time to share their thoughts with me - and not only those who are affected by mental illness in their families (one in four families, btw- we are "the 25%"), but also those who see Ben Behind His Voices as, to quote the Library Journal review, "a darn good read for memoir fans."

Sure, I wrote the book to open eyes to the issues surrounding mental illness and the family, and to help others going through it - but under it all, it's also the story of a mother (and a sister) who refused to give up on someone they love. I don't have to have shoveled coal to appreciate Angela's Ashes. And I'm glad that many family members in "the 75%" not directly affected by mental illness in a loved one are still writing to say how much the story of family love and strength means to them.

a gift from Ben, Mothers Day 2011

Here are some recent comments. Thank you!!!

Randye Kaye has touched my heart with this book. It's not just about battling a disease, it's about a mother's love for her family and her relentless crusade to help her children to be the best that they can regardless of what obstacles in life are placed in their way. Randye brings you into her family circle and writes with such emotion that you feel that you are experiencing every high and low with her. It's a story of courage, of never giving up, of hope. It is a story of inspiration that leaves you feeling that although life does not always turn out the way you hope, it can be ok. This book is not just for families of children battling mental illness, it's for all parents who face different challenges with their children. I could not put the book down once I started it. Such an incredible story. I hope there is a sequel so we can see how Ben is coping a few years from now. Great book for all, I would highly recommend reading it. - ESM, latest customer review on Amazon

It isn't often that I spend a little more than a day finishing a book. I usually have 2 or 3 books going at once and I finish them as the spirit moves me...I was truly moved by your story. - MS, Chicago reader

What strikes me most about the story is the reserve of human endurance and the depths of love and resilience of the family...And Ben: how courageous he is and what it takes to manage the disorder comes through on the pages. Randye Kaye's resilience, determination and courage are inspiring to anyone who must go down this difficult road of schizophrenia or any other chronic illness...this is a painful situation and yet the reader is left hopeful because of the power of hope and love. It shows what it means to be human. - book club reader, Syracuse NY

What can you say about a book that chronicles the descent of a sweet child into mental illness? This is an excellent book, which everyone should read. Mental illness -- and especially schizophrenia -- is so stigmatized that people are afraid of those who are ill. It is sad to watch, with the author, as her sweet, bright son deteriorates before her eyes, and the years of seeking it took before someone correctly diagnosed his disease. And her reactions -- not wanting to be with him, but wanting to protect him; hating him while loving him; missing the beautiful child he once was -- are heartbreaking. I highly recommend this book. - Laura Nichols, Goodreads reviewer

A truly inspiring story of the struggle against mental illness has recently come to my attention. Written by the mother of an individual suffering from Schizophrenia, "Ben Behind His Voices" is a truly illuminating tale of one family's long term experience with the various trials and tribulations that go hand-in-hand with mental disorders. - from Max Ingram, blogger at Runic Realities: