Ben Behind His Voices

The gripping story of one family’s experience when its firstborn, a brilliant young man named Ben, is gradually struck down by schizophrenia – and the lessons that help the family participate lovingly in Ben’s eventual steps to recovery.

Randye’s book, Ben Behind His Voices: One Family’s Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope (Rowman and Littlefield) is a page-turning narrative of one family’s challenging experience when their firstborn is gradually struck down by schizophrenia – and how they learned to love and support him throughout his eventual steps to recovery. This “memoir that reads like a riveting novel” will inspire and educate any family going through hard times with the mental illness of a loved one.

“This well-written, well-researched, and brutally honest book will provide information, inspiration, and encouragement for many parents.” It also provides valuable insight for others who want to understand how families are affected when mental illness strikes.

Also available as an audiobook: “This extremely affecting memoir is made more potent by author Randye Kaye’s background as a professional voice actor.” (Publishers’ Weekly review, nominated for a 2011 Listen Up! Award) Audiobook Spoken Word Inc.

 Reviewers Say:

Publishers’ Weekly reviews (starred)

Audiobook: (Randye Kaye, narrated by the author. Spoken Word, unabridged, 10 CDs, 12.5 hrs.)
When Randye Kaye’s high school age son, Ben, shows symptoms of what will eventually be diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenia, it is at once exasperating, befuddling, and deeply frightening for Kaye’s family. There is no true recovery from schizophrenia, and Ben goes through numerous treatments, hospitalizations (five alone in 2001), and even a period of homelessness.

This extremely affecting memoir is made more potent by author Randye Kaye’s background as a professional voice actor. Besides providing crisp, brisk narration, Kaye is exceptional at creating a sense of intimacy with listeners. We hear in Kaye’s performance her simmering frustration as Ben begins to act out in unexpected ways, her confusion as Ben’s symptoms often inexplicably change, her motherly concern during Ben’s moments of sudden vulnerability, and her sadness when she realizes that Ben’s schizophrenia will be a permanent aspect of both his life and his family’s.

— Publishers’ Weekly, Reviewed on: 11/28/11

Hardcover: In this must-read for any family struggling with mental illness, Kaye offers a gripping account of her son’s battle with schizophrenia. Until Ben was 15, Kaye believed that patience, structure, therapy, and love were the solutions to Ben’s academic and social challenges, mood swings, and drug and alcohol abuse. Having struggled to find help for Ben as his illness went unnamed and incorrectly diagnosed, Kaye provides helpful and informative guideposts throughout the book. Now a teacher for, and advocate of, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Kaye covers everything from helping siblings understand a new family dynamic, to managing involuntary commitment proceedings, to getting patients “into the system.” Kaye readily acknowledges that no one learns this information voluntarily and reminds readers that it’s impossible to reason with mental illness.

Along the way, she shares her fundamental belief in love, humor, and hope. This well-written, well-researched, and brutally honest book will provide information, inspiration, and encouragement for many parents.

— Publishers’ Weekly, Reviewed on: 08/01/2011

“Ben Behind His Voices” details the struggles, initial defeats, sadness, subsequent victories, and joys of a family coming to terms with a son’s schizophrenia. Unlike purely “first hand” or “family” accounts, this book presents the viewpoints of all involved in this captivating family drama…This book is a good “up-close” description of all the ways mental illness affects families. ..(from) a mother who persevered through years of confusion, isolation, heartache, and bureaucracy to bring her son back to health. – read full review here

— NAMI Advocate, Reviewed on: August 2011

A mother wrestles with the advent of her son’s schizophrenia and its long, painful unfolding….The author….is eminently helpful, particularly in the matter of self-medication, which so many of the mentally ill prefer to taking the medications that have been prescribed for them….Heartfelt and surely of help to those new to living with mentally ill loved ones of their own.

— Kirkus review, June 15 2011

It’s the reason parents fear the teenage years-the all-too-common story of a happy, well-adjusted child who slowly spirals into rebelliousness, disaffection, and apathy. Such teens may drop out of school or stop studying, indulge in drugs and alcohol, and possibly commit petty crime. When Kaye’s son Ben gradually became “troubled,” she tried all of the usual remedies: therapy, tough love, and special camps and schools, but nothing worked. Instead, he became increasingly emotionally unavailable and uninterested in taking care of himself and was eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia. Like many sufferers, Ben doesn’t acknowledge his illness and hates the side effects of the medication he needs to function. In the latter part of the book, Kaye describes what she goes through to ensure that her son takes his medication and has a safe place to live.

VERDICT An illuminating portrait of a parent coping with the guilt and heartbreak that come from feeling like one can’t “fix” one’s child. Recommended for anyone who is involved with teens or those with mental disorders, and a darn good read for memoir fans.

— Library Journal

This book is a well written and compelling story of a mother’s unwavering love and hopefulness for her son and her belief in his ability to create a meaningful and fulfilling life by managing his schizophrenia. Kaye, bravely and insightfully, uses her experiences to assist other families in caring for their family members with mental illness by promoting education, support, and early intervention for diagnosis and treatment of psychiatric disorders.”

—  Kathryn Y. Raymond, M.S., A.P.R.N.,  Psychiatric Services 2013;

Ms. Kaye displays amazing strength by standing up to the mental health system, protecting her son, and, ultimately, letting him go so he could be as independent as possible. Her story is surprisingly easy to read, almost like a novel. You’re rooting for her, for Ben, and for his sister all the way. You will admire their courage as a family as they face the challenges of schizophrenia, when “normal” isn’t quite what they expected it would be.

— Liz De Nesnera, TAKE CARE (National Family Caregivers Assn) -fall 2011 

In my opinion, if you only read one book this year, it should be this one. Ben Behind His Voices is well written.  It really is a book that should be read by everyone…  I have nothing by the highest praise for Randye Kaye and Ben Behind His Voices: One Families Journey From the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope.

— Michelle, August 2011. read full review here on MySpringfieldMommy

I love how this book shows hope and humanizes the problem of finding the right help for your child. I do know it helps show the true courage of all those who fight mental illness.

— Lenore Webb, August 2011, read full review here on Goodreads

What bravery to share with others the struggle to find what is going on with one who has mental illness…his account is honest and shows how to do one’s best dealing with mental illness with love and honesty. 

— Lynette, August 2011, read full review here on Crazed Mind Blog

Ben Behind His Voices: One Family’s Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope is a new addition to our library and one that has received outstanding reviews from family members and professionals as a “must read” for families struggling with mental illness. The author, Randye Kaye, is a professional voice actor who has also become deeply involved with NAMI through her journey to find help for her son. It is well written, insightful, and ultimately full of hope for families

— NAMI Colorado Springs

I just read the last page of your book, tears spilling from my eyes , lump in my throat and my heart swelling with the feeling of love. Your story as “Ben’s” Mom is a gift to anyone who has lived through mental illness

—ST, Connecticut, April 2012

I wasn’t planning to read this while on a trip to London, but it was so gripping I had to take it with me. Randye Kaye’s story of her son’s gradual descent into schizophrenia, had me hoping and despairing by turns, but rooting for Ben all the way. … Randye’s compassionate eye is inspiring.

— Gabi Coatsworth, August 2011, read full review here on Goodreads

One of the best books I’ve read this year. It touched me deep inside both as a parent and as a professional...I had no idea what to expect when I received it, but I didn’t think it would be so good, so well-written, and so insightful…Although non-fiction, it is a highly readable book and almost felt like I was reading a novel. It gripped me from the first page and I was riveted throughout. The pace, the dialogue, the added information boxes, and Randye Kaye’s own writing is amazing.

— Library of Clean Reads, August 22, 2011 – read full review here

What I loved about this book was the honesty and openness that the author shares about her experiences with her son’s illness. This story is both inspirational and motivational. The book itself is more than a piece of writing, it is a resource and it is one that is written to allow for anyone affected by this illness to find solace and support in its pages.

One of the things that I did enjoy about the book were the stops along the way that the author named Chapter Guideposts. These sections were great as they help the reader to pause and reflect on what they are reading.Also, the book takes the reader through all of the phases of the journey that the author had with her own son and it is this journey that is truly captivating. This book is wonderfully written and keeps the reader engaged from page one. My thanks to the author for sharing her son and her family’s story!

— DadofDivas review, July 13 2011

I have nearly finished reading Randye’s book and I loved it. I started reading it at the beginning of the weekend and have not been able to put it down.  (When a book can make me cry I know it’s a good one!)  It was beautifully written, so touching and so informative at the same time.

— Piety Nadro, August 10, 2011

Randye Kaye has a message for all of us. With courage and fortitude she embraces her son and all his symptoms. She doesn’t judge. She doesn’t give up. She loves. She hopes. And in this book she explains how other parents can follow her lead and learn from her years of extraordinary experience.

— Roberta Temes, Ph.D., author of Getting Your Life Back Together When You Have Schizophrenia

Poignant, stark, and the energy of the scenes are set up really well. This work has screenplay written all over it. The dialogue is wonderful and the pace of the story moves briskly.

— Nancy DeRosa, author of A Penny’s Worth, and There’s No Place Like Home

No one showed up with casseroles at our door. These are the words of Randye Kaye in her poignant new memoir, Ben Behind His Voices. Delving into her son’s paranoid schizophrenia, Kaye takes the reader on a journey of frustration, heartache, anger and love. It’s every parent’s nightmare, but this book is full of hope, knowledge and empathy. It will make you see mental illness for what it really is: a horribly misunderstood devastation of the mind and soul—a tragedy not just for its victims and their families, but for society. Tragic not merely because mental illness exists—but because we, as a community, prefer to ignore its existence. Ben, and millions like him, need you to read this book.

— Karen Winters Schwartz, author of Where Are the Cocoa Puffs?: A Family’s Journey Through Bipolar Disorder

Randye Kaye poignantly illustrates the value of the love of family as they, along with her son, Ben, struggle to make sense of the mental illness that impacts all of them. Randye and her family show unwavering commitment and love to Ben. As much as he has, at times, seemed hidden behind the voices of schizophrenia, this caring, devoted family has been with him every step of the way along with him. His struggle is theirs to share as can only be understood by family.

— Michael W Mackniak, Esq., MNMP, CBIS, Founder Melissa’s Project

Immediately, I was immersed. The time flew by unnoticed, and I didn’t want the chapters to end. Randye is a wonderful writer. I can feel and understand what’s happening in such a way that it’s almost as though it’s happening to me, instead of being told to me. This book is going to be a bible for so many who’ve had schizophrenia touch their lives as well as for those who wish to understand this debilitating disease.”

— G. Gallo, actress

“Ben Behind his Voices reminds us that schizophrenia is an illness, but not necessarily an identity. It movingly depicts the difficulty and the importance of recognizing, accepting, and managing the symptoms of this disorder.”

— John H. Krystal, M.D., Chair, Department of Psychiatry -Yale University School of Medicine

What I find most compelling about Ben Behind His Voices is the author’s honesty as a mother about her true feelings. She connects with her readers because she allows herself to be human and vulnerable and share both her struggles and triumphs.

— Amy J. Barry, author of A Child’s Grief Journey and award-winning column, A Parent’s Eye View.

The book is too good to be true. I love the way Randye talks about her son; she is very direct about her experiences with mental illness in her family. This book is just what our family members are looking for when they learn their loved one has been diagnosed with any severe mental illness. The biggest question out there is whether there is any hope for them; I am pretty sure family members are going to find an answer as well as the understanding that will made a huge difference to all of them. I have nothing but wonderful things to say about this book. I love it!

— Paloma B. Dee, NAMI-CT Family & Professional Education Program Director, CT

“Should be required reading for all psychology professionals and students, as well as anyone who loves or cares for someone suffering with schizophrenia. Incredibly well-written, profoundly honest and, perhaps, most importantly, Randye Kaye offers help and hope to thousands of families needing to hear her story. I sat holding my breath as I turned each page. The author is not only a survivor and an incredibly loving mother, she is – by any standards – a gifted writer.”

— Linda Appleman Shapiro, psychotherapist/oral historian/author of Four Rooms Upstairs: A Psychotherapist’s Journey Into and Beyond Her Mother’s Mental Illness.

“Randye Kaye’s skillfully written memoir of the extraordinary challenges her family has endured in coping with her son’s schizophrenia is filled with hard-won knowledge and inspiring wisdom. This book should be required reading in programs that train mental health professionals …I wish I would have had access to this much needed book when my daughter had her first psychotic break. Randye’s warm, insightful, informative book provides a guide about how to survive in the best ways possible.”

— Susan Inman, author of After Her Brain Broke: Helping My Daughter Recover Her Sanity

“What I find most compelling about Ben Behind His Voices is the author’s honesty as a mother about her true feelings. She connects with her readers because she allows herself to be human and vulnerable and share both her struggles and triumphs.”

— Amy J. Barry, author of A Child’s Grief Journey and the award-winning writer of the column “A Parent’s Eye View.“

This is a realistic account for those in crisis. I’m very grateful to the author for her courage in sharing her experiences and honest feelings – Especially towards the end about what can happen even when the best medication is implemented . Highly recommend the audible version. Hope I can be as strong and determined as Randye.

— 5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful resource, just get this book if you’re in crisis, Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2022

Goodreads reviews for Ben Behind His Voices

About the Author

Randye Kaye is a national voice talent and actress, also currently heard as part-time newscaster and classical music host on NPR affiliates WSHU-FM and AM. Prior to that, while raising her children, she was a full-time morning personality for a top-rated Connecticut radio station in addition to her voiceover, on-camera and theatre work. During that time, her son Ben was going through confusing and often terrifying changes: what she later learned had been the symptoms of gradual-onset schizophrenia. So at work, her job was to make people laugh – but her “hobby” became mental illness. She finally found education and support through NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, and became a teacher and the Connecticut State Trainer for its Family-to-Family educational course.

After leaving Morning Radio (and the 3:15 AM wake-up calls) behind, Randye was asked to write about Ben’s illness and recovery, and how it had affected her family. The result is Ben Behind His Voices: One Family’s Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope (Rowman & Littlefield, 2011 ). Randye speaks frequently to professional providers and families about the process of coping with the challenges – including stigma – when mental illness strikes a loved one. She hosted the talk show “Issues and Answers” on Connecticut TV, “The Life Talk show” on radio and podcast, and now produces and hosts the podcast “Schizophrenia: 3 Moms in the Trenches.”

She is also a gifted audiobook narrator, including titles for Tantor Media, Live Oak, Soundprints, and Audible.com. Her narration of Ben Behind His Voices earned a Publisher’s Weekly Listen Up! nomination.

Her next book, Happier Made Simple™:  Choose Your Words. Change Your Life. was inspired by readers who asked, “how do you stay so positive through all this?”. Look for it in January 2022.

Member of NSA (National Speakers’ Association), Authors’ Guild, Actors’ Equity Association, AFTRA, SAG, MENSA, NAMI, and World-Voices.

Author Q & A

What inspired you to write about your family experience with mental illness?

During the years of the gradual onset of Ben’s schizophrenia, the crisis periods, and finally the first glimmers of hope, I was struggling to support my family as a single parent with several jobs, so I barely had time to think about what was happening. I was a morning radio personality with a top local station, supplementing that with voiceover and theatre work, and eventually became active in NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) as well. I had time to react, but not to reflect.

It wasn’t until the radio station and I divorced (so to speak) and I could finally sleep past 3 a.m. that I started to really piece together where our family had been, where we now were, and how we’d gotten there. With six months of severance pay as part of my departure package (an unbelievably rare occurrence for an actor), and so many friends telling me to write this book, I finally said yes.

Why? Because very few people, both inside and outside our circle of friends and family, seemed to have any understanding of what schizophrenia was, and what all of us had been through.  Ben deserved respect, not fear – and I wanted to promote understanding and reduce stigma by telling our story, though the eyes of a mother as well as those of a NAMI educator

Was writing the memoir cathartic for you?

I had no idea where to begin, so I signed up for a Continuing Education class in creative writing at the local high school.  I knew I’d have to produce a chapter each week, and that without that deadline I’d probably never make the time to write.

The first scene I wrote was about the night Ben had been hospitalized for the fifth time, all within one year.  He was clearly off his medication, and actively focused on his internal world as we sat in the hospital waiting room – until an elderly woman began to cough, and Ben broke out of his psychosis to ask her if she was okay.  I thought, He’s still in there. Behind all those voices. And that eventually became the title of the book.  It’s the concept that has kept us all by his side, no matter what.

Writing that scene was tough, of course. It’s not crisis that makes us cry, it’s the love underneath the chaos.

After that, I expected some tears as I wrote. That’s okay. The love is there, and so is the occasional reminder of what was lost. I wouldn’t call it cathartic, though; I had not spent much energy on denying my feelings while it was happening. I had sobbed at the grave of my parents; I had sought help for Ben, his sister Ali, and myself. We had felt, and expressed, our pain.

I had kept so many records of what had happened (hospital records, letters, e-mails, journal entries) that the greater challenge was organizing the years of chaos and emotions into some sort of timeline of events. Writing about it was more of a sad reminder than catharsis.

How does your son feel about the book?

Ben (not his real name, by the way) was initially curious, then wary, and finally supportive of my writing this.  We talked about it, and still do, so that I hear and respect his point of view. He gave me permission to continue early on, once he understood that I was clearly telling the story from my perspective, and as long as I changed his name. In addition, he has generously has allowed the use of his own poetry and prose, which presents his point of view through his own literary artistry. 

At this point in time, Ben attributes his recovery to the fact that he is clean and sober, not so much to the meds and treatment. Inwardly, he may be starting to accept his illness, but outwardly he won’t say so. This is his journey; a huge learning for our family was to stop trying to “convince” him that he has schizophrenia. His dignity is at stake and must be respected.  Still, he loves to help others, so his altruism may result in his coming forth to share more of his experience in time.

How do you hope Ben Behind His Voices will affect the reader?

In a nutshell: increase understanding, reduce stigma, spark hope, provide support, and bring the reader through the family experience as it happens.

It hope it will resonate with all families who are dealing with mental illness, professionals who want a better understanding of what happens to the family between office visits, and those in recovery who hope to reestablish a relationship with their families and friends.  When mental illness hits, it happens to the whole family – and it is the family’s strength and love that can help make recovery work.

Ben Behind His Voices also champions for a greater understanding of the illness and the people who have it – a staggering 1 out of every 100 people worldwide.  It stresses the importance of early detection so that psychotic episodes and the potential brain damage they bring can be prevented.

The book also offers readers a very helpful, unique feature for a memoir: guideposts of information that can lead readers to more understanding, solutions and support, including the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).

This memoir is a tribute to the families who have been hiding in silent shame for too long. It honors the courage of anyone who suffers with mental illness and is trying to improve his life and participate in his own recovery. The recurring theme throughout the book is the powerful effect of love upon the recovery process.

Ben Behind His Voices will also remind professionals in the psychiatric field that every patient who comes through their doors has a life, one that he has lost through no fault of his own. Each patient is someone’s son or daughter, husband or wife, sister or brother, friend, parent.  They deserve the belief that they will recover.  They deserve respect, hope, and dignity – and so do their families.  And, it shows what goes right when professionals treat the family as part of the recovery process, and help them find support, education, respect and acceptance.

What are you working on now?

A short, easy guide to staying positive and enjoying life, even though there certainly are challenges.  Most books on happiness are too long and complicated.  Because of my work as a radio personality and actress, I learned to focus on joy and humor in challenging circumstances, and am often asked to speak about it. Out of those workshops, a new book is being born, called Happier Made Simple™.