Make New Friends, Keep the Old: The Art of Discovering New Tribes After 50
Your Monthly SPARK* :
STORY/PICTURE:
Lisa Lampanelli, formerly known as “Comedy’s Lovable Queen of Mean” is about to introduce me to the comedy/storytelling showcase stage. Wait, what? This is a first for me, something I’d been thinking about, but too scared to do, for years.
The Stage we used (from The Legend of Georgia McBride production) at Music Theatre of Connecticut
Comedy? Me? Oh, no, too much pressure. What if nobody laughs? But storytelling? Okay, that I can do.
That one word change got me over the hump of fear. That, and a 2024 New Year’s focus to try uncomfortable things and imagine best case scenarios.
My knees are shaking.
And, also, I can’t wait to get up there, tell my story. Fear/excitement.
Here’s the wonderful thing, though: I’m just as excited to cheer on my classmates and hear their five minutes.
I have, in this Wednesday evening class, made new friends - funny, courageous, vulnerable, inspiring new friends. We’ve been studying storytelling and comedy with Lisa for six weeks, coached each other on Zoom, taken copious notes as Lisa gave feedback to each of us.
Most importantly, we have heard each other’s stories - and shared our own. We have formed a temporary and meaningful tribe of sorts.
As a stage actor, I’m well aware of the tribes that get formed with each show - some tight, some challenging. But this is different. We’re not playing roles someone wrote for us - we are being our most vulnerable selves -with stories told, critiqued, improved and retold.
This was a risk, sure. Start something new?
To get here, we each had to do three things:
Show Up (sign up for the class, get here each week)
Reach Out (to each other for between-class sessions)
Let In (Lisa’s coaching, feedback from each other, the willingness to be vulnerable and to listen)
So I cheer for 86-year-old Sam, who gets onstage with his cane and delivers a hilarious story about circumcision. For young Suburban mom Emily, who shares her fantasy daydream of owning a stable of horses complete with handsome stableboys. I literally shed tears of laughter, empathy, and pride as each new friend (from different generations, backgrounds, cultures) gets up to take the stage for their 5 minutes.
We did it!
Not only did we tell our stories, we channeled our fears into energy- woot!
Can you make new friends after 50? After high school, after college, after your kids are “launched”? Who will be your tribe then?
Yes. A thousand times yes.
I remember the Girl Scout song, (and, yes OK, the handshake too)
Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver and the other’s gold.
I passed 50 a long time ago, and treasure the friends who knew me back when I was a vulnerable kid, a confused middle-schooler, a hopeful new actress in summer stock. Many of these friends are, happily, still in my life. Lucky.
But making new friends - and letting them in by being open to new experiences and lessons no matter your age - is another key to living your best life - no matter the number of your birth year.
By the way, if you want to view the 5-minute story, here it is on YouTube.
And yes, I am taking the class again. I’m hooked!
ACTION STEP:
To make new friends at any age, there are three simple steps: Show up, Reach Out, Let In.
RESOURCE:
Lisa’s class was local and in-person through Music Theatre of Connecticut, but there are a number of classes you can search for that teach storytelling. Ask around. Here is one resource:
https://www.thestorystudio.org/
Performing not for you? You can join a new tribe and make new friends with anything that strikes your fancy. A memoir writing class. A bowling league. A book club. Preferably in person.
KICKASS QUOTE:
“A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face.”
― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter
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