Ben Behind His Voices Blog

One Family’s Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope

NEW!– the Ben Behind His Voices audiobook has been updated with a new intro, epilogue, and bonus material! – available only in audiobook form. (updated 2022)

Hear all of the original award-nominated memoir, and find out what has happened in the decade since. We continue our journey through crisis, help, and into hope.

Mental Health, Community and Potential:The Clubhouse Model

Last week NAMI-CT's Fairfield Affiliate hosted an informative and inspiring Legislative Social - over 100 in attendance, including about a dozen state legislators, all there to hear about programs and services that help those affected by mental illness live fulfilling, purposeful, hopeful lives. I wrote about it here as well, on my Mental Illness in the Family blog.

My point there, as expressed in my comments at the meeting: don't let the success of these programs and the amazing young adults participating in them lull you into a false sense of security that continued funding is not necessary. It is. Oh, it is. In this climate of budget cuts for the look of the bottom line, never forget that treated mental illness is always way less expensive than the cost - financial and emotional - of untreated mental illness. Keep funding what works!

And here is something that works: the International Clubhouse model. Fountain House in NYC, Laurel House in Stamford CT, Shore Clubhouse in NJ, many others, and here an example from Bridge House in Bridgeport CT. This video was written, produced and voiced by the young adult members at Bridge House.

Possibility, Respect, Understanding. Here is the video. Enjoy.

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Looking Ahead, Reflecting Back: BBHV 2011, 2012

January 4th already. Happy New Year, 2012! Always a good time to look back - but not for too long. Also an exciting time to preview what's possible, as well as planned,  for the new year.

BBHV spotted at social workers Conference

In our family we do a "year in review" of our own as we approach New Year's Eve, and certainly tops for me in 2011 was the publication of Ben Behind His Voices, hardcover and audiobook, and all the opportunities that has brought with it to reach families, healthcare professionals, and PAMIs ("People Affected by Mental Illness", the best term I can come up with so far) with its story, information and messages. This year I have been privileged to present at the APNA (American Psychiatric Nurses Association) Annual Conference, sign books at the US Psych Congress, attend and do a poster presentation at NAMI's Annual Conference in Chicago, and connect with so many wonderful readers at author talk/book-reading events for NAMI, RJ Julia Bookstore, Barnes and Noble, Written Words, Congregation B'nai Israel in CT, Fellowship Place, Laurel House, and many more (see "News and Events" for details).

Exciting, too have been TV and radio appearances on Fox News,PBS, ConnTV, WTNH's "Connecticut  Style", NPR and more to tell our family's story  and share messages like the need for open communication, early detection, more research, better understanding, increased respect, and the importance of purpose, structure, community and love to the recovery process. The Press Room has links to more of these interviews.

On a more personal level, 2011 brought a summer challenge for us, when Ben's treatment services were cut drastically and he was re-hospitalized for almost six weeks. We faced, once again, the possibility of losing so much of what he had gained.  Thankfully, he has returned to us once again to resume treatment and the progress he has been making in school, work, and family. We remain so grateful for yet another chance, and also aware that there is so much work still to be done to improve treatment, medical advances, and attitudes.

So - what will 2012 bring? For my son and family I hope for stability and the continued miracles of "ordinary" life and growth. As for the book and audiobook, I hope for more chances to speak with audiences and reach readers, on a national and international level. I also have hopes for increased outreach to professionals and future professionals. I have heard from so many readers that this should be "required reading" for students in this field, and am thrilled to have been asked to speak at two universities so far in 2012.

Some of this is already in the works for 2012, and Ben Behind His Voices hits the road to (so far): Washington DC in January, New Haven CT (Yale) in February, Phoenix Arizona in March (AZ State), Chicago in April (National Council), with a  stops in the works for Alabama, California, Seattle, Ohio NYC, Boston and more. As they say, stay tuned for details...here and/or at Mental Illness in the Family award-winning blog at HealthyPlace.com.

Thank you for being such an important part of 2011.  Here's to all that is possible in the New Year!

Randye

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Official Book Launch, and hope for its messages

Two new e-mails from people - formerly strangers but now BBHV readers - surprise me with their stories.

audiobook CD

One comes forwarded by my audiobook publisher Spoken Word Inc -- "Thank you so much for posting about the book, Ben Behind His Voices.My brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia last year and my whole family doesn't really know how to help. I ordered it for my nook last night and finished it this morning. Absolutely heart wrenching but extremely informative. I am buying a copy for my mom today and think it will help. Thank you again!"

Another comes directly to me: "I want to thank you for changing my life. I read Ben Behind His Voices in a day and a half on my Kindle. My child was diagnosed with schizophrenia four years ago. Our lives were turned upside down. You put my thoughts feelings and words on the pages of your book. You have given me so much hope and insight into my situation. You understand."

My hopes for our story - that it will touch others - are starting to become real. That makes all the hard work feel worthwhile already.

Laurel House sponsors the party tonight

And we've only just begun. Official book launch party tonight, and here I sit in my overalls writing blogposts. So glamorous! In a few minutes I leave to pick Ben up from work - and, after that, he has homework to do. This all sounds so wonderfully normal. After this summer's "symptom reoccurance", I remain especially grate for these ordinary miracles.

And  there's another surprise: Ben has decided he wants to go tonight to the Book Launch Party. Really? I never expected this. "I want to support you, Mom," he says - and I am heartwarmed by this as well as - I admit - a little nervous about it. One week ago, in an interview with Katrina Daniel of Womenetrics,  I said :

Womenetics: What’s your relationship with Ben like now? And, what is Ben’s reaction to this book about his life?
Kaye: In recovery for eight years now, Ben continues to rebuild his life. He has had a few setbacks, described in the book and in my blogs (here and at Healthy Place) but that is often part of the recovery. Right now Ben has a job, is making the dean’s list consistently in college as a part-time student, participates in family activities, and never forgets anyone’s birthday. We love each other a lot, and he loves his sister, new brother-in-law, stepdad, and the rest of our family, and we all get along very well. One of the best signs that Ben’s treatment was working was the fact that we stopped arguing.

(As for his reaction) I’d say “guarded.” Ben gave me permission to write the book, he gave me permission to use his poetry, as long as I changed his name in the book. I also think there is part of him that is proud that his story might help someone else, but right now, like many in his young age group with schizophrenia, he lacks insight into the reality of the illness. In other words, he doesn’t think he is “sick.” But he is really proud of how far he has come, and he credits the fact that he has not used any marijuana for years.

So - how do we handle all this tonight, with Ben's need to stay rather anonymous as well as to support me? Also - which passages do I read out loud? He has only heard some of the book  so far. I have let him totally call the shots as to how much he wants to be involved, and that's as it absolutely should be.  But - will the evening go well for Ben? Will he balk at some of the honesty in my passages?

We'll see. Our family is not unfamiliar with uncertainly. And, of course, it would have been hard to not have Ben there.  I admit I hope that, someday, Ben will share his perspective too - but not one second before he feels he is entirely ready to. That is his call, his journey.  So connected to ours.

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Schizophrenia Story: A Life of its Own

it's real! face out in B&N

After six years of writing, rewriting, hoping, polishing, editing, believing, and picking up the pieces more than once - Ben Behind His Voices is real. The official birthday is this Thursday, 9/15/11, but it has been shipped to Amazon customers already and this week I actually saw it at a Barnes & Noble bookstore!

OK, I admit I was looking for it. I was 30 minutes early for a recording session in Norwalk CT, so saw the B&N and thought "hmmm...I wonder?" and went hunting. And there it was. Face out, yet! Featured Title in the Addiction/Recovery section...(really? OK, whatever. I'll take it)

Seeing the book there, for real, was an amazing feeling,  kind of like finally meeting the child you've nurtured in your womb for nine months.  Wow. This was different from receiving my handful of author copies in the mail last month. I knew where those would go. Now, I see that each book will have a life of its own, a life that is now beyond my control. Who will buy these?, I wonder. Who has downloaded it onto their kindle? I've already begin receiving e-mails from readers I have never met.  I got one last night that said, "I want to thank you for changing my life.  I read Ben Behind His Voices in a day and a half on my Kindle...I can't thank you enough for your courage, and for your showing me how to cope and be positive. "  After I read the rest of her e-mail she no longer felt like a stranger. My biggest hope for the book, for the audiobook as well, is that it will, indeed, take on a "life of its own" as any child must - and reach the people who will be touched, comforted, inspired, educated or simply gripped by the story.  I have heard from readers in Canada, the UK, Brazil, and all over the U.S. And we've barely begun the journey.

Watch for the audiobook, coming this week, if you have a long commute. Wow. This is happening.

Book launch party next week! Mental Illness Awareness week very soon. Hope to meet you too.

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Laurel House announces "Ben Behind His Voices"Book Launch Event!

Laurel House

Details have just been announced for the book launch event for "Ben" - and I couldn't be more proud to be associated with Laurel House, who will be the event partner.

Want an invite?

Here are the details:  Book Launch with a cocktail reception and reading, September 20, 2011

Laurel House stands as an amazing example of what can happen when those diagnosed with mental illness receive the respect, support, and opportunities they need. Please take a moment to visit their website to see what they do, and read some amazing stories.

I spent a wonderful afternoon last visiting touring Laurel House, and was so inspired by what I saw. This quote from their materials sums up what they do - and what is, still, so sorely needed for others who have not yet found a place like Laurel House.

"Laurel House restores hope by giving people a chance to regain what they have lost: employment, education, housing, companionship, health, ties to their community. Self-respect."

Laurel House is based on the "Clubhouse Model" that is, thankfully, a growing field - but still greatly in need of support.  My hope is that Ben Behind His Voices will help spread the message that recovery is possible, and that the costs of such support for recovery far outweigh the much more expensive cost (financially and emotionally) of untreated mental illness.  (over $100 billlion yearly in the US alone).

Come and celebrate!

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Book News! Audiobook Release, Book Launch

BBHV audiobook CD - or will be available via download as well

Thrilled to announce that Spoken Word, Inc - a wonderful young audiobook company in California - has been selected as the publisher, producer and distributor of the audiobook version of Ben Behind His Voices. You can find out more about them at Spoken Word Inc - and another recent release from them will be the timely Wikileaks And The Age Of Transparency, by Micah Sifry.

I'm in the process of recording the narration for them. Previews soon! As a voice talent, I blog about the process on my voiceover blog. We're in full speed mode, since the audiobook is slated for release the same day as the book's official launch: September 15, 2011. Look for the audiobook soon on Amazon and other outlets - but in the meantime the print version is shipping now from Amazon - and I just noticed they are promoting a special price right now on Amazon for BBHV.

Now - the book launch partyLaurel House in Stamford CT - an amazing resource in that area for those with mental illness - is hosting an awareness raiser on September 20, 2011 (Tuesday evening) and I will be the featured speaker. I'll read from my book, sign copies, and there will be lots of good food, drinks, and info about Laurel House at a great location in Norwalk CT. Want an invite? Contact me at randye@benbehindhisvoices.com, or visit Laurel House website .

Another fantastic, smart and caring organization - Melissa's Project and Guardian Ad Litem Services will hold their gala event on October 6, 2011. I'll be there - and so will the fabulous Jocelyn Maminta from WTNH-Channel 8.

After that?  Fairfield Library and the Fairfield NAMI book club will host an author event on November 17, 2011.  There is more to come, thanks to you and your interest in Ben Behind His Voices.

And thanks for your caring about Ben, as always. Happy to tell you he's thriving, one week out of the hospital. Back at work, starting fall college classes soon. The goal will be to continue this success - one challenge at a time. One day, one phone call, one plan at a time.

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