Laughter: The Sixth Language of Love
Your 3 minute SPARK* to Happier
STORY/PICTURE:
“Little Geoffie”: That’s my brother’s name for his new kidney, donated 6 days ago by my husband Geoff. A part of my husband is now inside my “little” brother Russ.
Yep, I'm married to a mensch (stellar human being).
When this process began to seem real (Geoff turned out to be a great donor match, better than I would have been, is it weird to add whew?), the level of emotion surrounding this gift was on the verge of being overwhelming.
How to properly “thank” someone for a gift like this?
“Are You Sure You Want This DNA in Your Body?”
Then I spotted my hero of a hubby playing with his virtual headset and looking so ridiculous that I snapped a pic and sent it to Russ with this message:
“Are you sure you want this DNA in your body?”
His reply: “I’m a little scared, but it hasn’t hurt you yet…”
And suddenly, the pressure seemed to ease and this monumental event became real, emotionally as well as physically.
I could feel it normalize.
Why? Because laughter is a powerful “love language” among those I call family- a language I learned as a child and carry with me still.
Yes, kidney donation is a big, serious deal, an act of love.
But, for Russ and Geoff and me, the thing that gave it perspective was being able to joke about it - on the same wavelength.
On the day of the surgery - Russ’ birthday - I said (as I hugged him) “you’re not getting the same gift next year.”
Maybe someone else would have found that insensitive - but Russ found it funny. And, again, the normalization settled in.
ACTION STEP: If you can find the laughter in something that’s happening, share it. In humor, timing and empathy are vital. Laugh with, never at.
We all know Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, but personally I feel he left one out: Shared Humor.
This is why the H in the BREATHE acronym in Happier Made Simple™ stands for Humor. It’s a huge part of living Happier.
My years in theatre, improv, on the radio and as a speaker have all helped me appreciate and utilize the value of humor. Tragedy aside (that’s a very different animal), many things that happen to us eventually become funny. The sooner we can laugh together, the more connected we feel.
If you have found laughter-soulmates, treasure that. And together, speak the sixth language of love.
RESOURCES to learn more:
Gary Chapman is the author of the book, The Five Love Languages
(Website: https://5lovelanguages.com/)
RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS TIED NOT TO JOKING, BUT TO SHARED SENSE OF HUMOR, RESEARCHER SAYS
KICKASS QUOTE: "A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing."
–Laura Ingalls Wilder
*What's in a SPARK?
Story
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Action Step
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Kickass Quote
