“The Queen Herself”: How One Handwritten Note Reframed My Thoughts About Aging
Your 3 minute SPARK* to Happier
STORY/PICTURE:
A few minutes ago (okay, several decades ago, but…you know) I was standing on a Broadway stage, auditioning again for the part of Rizzo in Grease. I’d gotten a callback, which is a pretty big deal on Broadway, even for replacement roles.
I didn’t get the part that time - hey, that’s show biz, kid - but a few months ago I did get cast in Grease at last, in a local professional production. As Miss Lynch.
Miss Lynch makes school announcements
Miss Lynch is the “old maid English teacher” (character description straight from the script). It’s a perfect example of a small part with a lot of great comic opportunities.
But yeah. My days of playing the ingenue (or troubled teen) are over, for sure.
So I’m there in rehearsal, then in the dressing room, watching all these young bodies do splits and leaps and complaining that at 26 they “feel so old.” Ha!
It’s a reality check. Just saying.
Dress rehearsal time - all the girls carefully applying their make-up with great precision, obsessing over the color of the lipstick, and then there’s me, trying to leave that mirror as fast as humanly possible, NOT see the lines on my neck that are suddenly so glaring.
I do not feel as much a part of things as I usually do in theatre.
But then - I get a handwritten note that changes my perception of my role in that play, in that cast, and as a woman of a certain age.
The girl playing Rizzo had written thank you notes to all her cast members on opening night (bless her), and mine started like this:
“Dear Randye,
The queen herself!” -
and went on to say how much she valued my wisdom, advice and perspective.
Suddenly, I remembered that I was exactly where I am supposed to be - in the third act of my life, learning still, and passing on whatever wisdom I’ve scraped together so far to those who want to hear it.
I am not “the old member in the cast”. I am The Queen! Rebecca in The Red Tent, holding court with her grey hair a sign for those who wish to learn to stand in line for an audience.
Well, except for the grey hair. Not yet anyway. There is always the hair color aisle in CVS.
And, yes, I belonged in that cast, in my way, at that time, in the role I was playing onstage and off. After all, who else can model how it is to age gracefully, gratefully, and powerfully ?
Miss Lynch, that’s who. Thank you, Rizzo 🙂
ACTION STEP:
Reframe your own thoughts on aging. What are you telling yourself about where you are on that Ladder of Years? (a great Anne Tyler book, check it out)
Beauty and value do not disappear as we age - they are redefined.
Be where you are. You are beautiful, you are wise, you are the Queen! (or King).
PS - Thank You Notes are awesome!
RESOURCE to learn more:
“Wiser Than Me”, Julia Louis Dreyfus’ amazing podcast. -
funny, touching, personal conversations with unforgettable older women
KICKASS QUOTE:
"The older I get, the more I realize the value of investing in people and making a difference. Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength."
— Betty Friedan
*What's in a SPARK?
Story
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Kickass Quote
